Editorial Section, London Observer. Saturday, May 19th.

[W Christopher Lynn]

The Japanese national team is making a disgrace of our national pasttime.

We all witnessed the Mutant game--and for all they called it a 'differently powered' game, it was in effect a two-hour commercial for the university--and that was fun for a couple of laughs, even if the idea of a world team beating the nations that invented the game is laughable. It was a novelty act, an interesting one, and one that had money go to a good cause.

But now, the Japanese government has attempted to move their novelty act into the realms of serious competition. We all witnessed the mockery they made in Manchester, with not one, but two mutants being placed on the pitch, in direct violation to FIFA regulations. They got their well-deserved on-the-field punishments, and most people would consider the matter closed.

But no, the Japanese government is protesting, demanding that their players be reinstated, despite the clear rules against it. This is typical of mutant activism, with them demanding loud and clear to go beyond the compromises made with them--every inch they are given, they attempt to take a mile. So it has been since the first discovery of the X-Gene.

I urge you, dear readers, not to let this stand--when Japan comes to Wembley this Friday, I urge you to not attend the game, but rather, show what good, hard-working, normal human beings can do. Voice your displeasure, my friends, and raise your voices loud and proud!

W. Christopher Lynn.

[Narrator]

--Attatched to the article is a recent Observer poll, showing support for Mutants has slipped notably since the last poll--likely a knee-jerk reaction. Football is serious business, yo.--