Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:02 am

I wish I had something funny to complain about but this episode was just boring and bland.

by **Maya Mills** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:08 am

Oh, hey. You're almost to one of my favorite Voyager episodes.

You could say you're on the threshold.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:48 am

Not doing them in order, I'm afraid! We're saving that for the veeeeery last run of episodes. For the maximum brain damage. But here, have this one instead!

VOY 2x23: The Thaw, or DAS ULTIMATUM

Well, you can't say this episode was boring, per se...

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:54 am

Okay, the "Clowns are scary" schtick doesn't really work when the clown is ~*so whacky*~ and cartoonishly evil. The giant teeth monster is kinda neat but this was more "mildly irritating" than scary.

2/10

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:58 am

IT'S A METAPHOR FOR ALZHEIMERS

VOY 3x04: The Swarm, or DER SCHWARM

Oh boy, I bet this interesting plot twist will continue and the Doctor won't immediately be fine next episode, right? Right?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Oct 19, 2014 3:01 am

What a forgettable episode.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Oct 21, 2014 1:33 am

Oh No, Evil Kes!

VOY 3x10: Warlord, or DER KRIEGSHERR

Jennifer Lien can NOT do evil.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Oct 21, 2014 1:37 am

Wow, that was some shitty, shitty acting.

Red Shirt Count: 442 (Some guy got shot, I guess)
Actual Death Count: 42
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: All of them
Cameo Count: 42
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -9
Torpedoes: -47
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:58 am

Oh no! Space Ebola!

VOY 3x12: Macrocosm, or MAKROKOSMOS

Do we have a new front-runner, Barrin?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:02 am

The science in this was somehow worse than the CGI, so we indeed have a new winner of the prestigious Most Shit-tastic Science on Star Trek award!

by **Veronica Glarette** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:09 am

...okay now I need to watch this.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:57 am

The first 20 minutes or so are actually pretty good and creepy! It suffers a little from too much technobabble and a side-helping of Neelix, but it's a top-tier Voyager scenario. It's how Genesis (the de-evolution one from TNG) should have gone.

Aaaaand theeen....

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:05 pm

Warning, the judgement of the science comes form my background in Molecular Biology and the fact that the Star Trek writers are usually physics/astrophysics geeks and bother to at least come up with new words to explain weird physics shit. For Biology stuff they just punt and use existing words and concepts that they don't understand and it's blatantly lazy writing. They don't even TRY to extrapolate existing science, they just hear DNA and Growth Hormones and go to town and it sucks because there are plenty of interesting concepts to explore in Biology and Genetics and they constantly choose to do so in the lamest, laziest way possible.

Basically, when they do Physics they're writing science-fiction, for better or worse. When they do Biology they're writing garbage.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 1:21 am

Tapestry + Cause and Effect + The Next Phase =

VOY 3x15: Coda, or DER WILLE

Janeway to death: Fuck you.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 1:27 am

I should have been counting number of Janeway death's depicted, cause this sure would have rocketed the number up. Also, there were some real groaners and amazingly shitty writing in this episode. I guess all the good people were writing for DS9 at this point.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 2:18 am

I wish this episode had been nullified.

VOY 4x04: Nemesis or NEMESIS

HEY GUYS WAR IS BAD

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 2:20 am

I crave I could backwalk to the before-times when I hadn't nullified a three-quarter hour to this unfathomable excrement.

Red Shirt Count: 442
Actual Death Count: 42
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: All of them
Cameo Count: 42
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -10 (Another shuttle goes boom)
Torpedoes: -47
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

by **Veronica Glarette** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 2:20 am

Hey look, it's Predator.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:08 am

DRUGS! ARE! BAD!

VOY 4x10: Random Thoughts, or GEWALTTÄTIGE GEDANKEN

In this episode, B'lanna's Gedankendank nearly ruins everything.

by **Jennifer Newgate** » Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:13 am

VIOLENT THOUGHTS

Legalize violent thoughts, man... Also pot.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 02, 2014 2:54 am

JERRY, this Think Tank is CRAZY.

VOY 5x20: Think Tank, or DIE DENKFABRIK

Wow, that is...obviously Jason Alexander.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 02, 2014 3:00 am

No Seven for you!

Red Shirt Count: 442
Actual Death Count: 42
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: All of them
Cameo Count: 42
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -10
Torpedoes: -54 (Pew pew!)
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 02, 2014 3:47 am

Ah, anger. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

VOY 5x21: Juggernaut, or VERHEERENDE GEWALT

B'Elanna smash!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 02, 2014 3:48 am

The power was inside you all along. The power to spaz out and anger-smash things. And a valuable lesson was learned by nobody. The End.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:16 am

Weapon making 101: Do not give your smart bombs the ability to countermand orders.

VOY 5x25: Warhead, or GEHEIMNISVOLLE INTELLIGENZ

Seriously. These bombs have sentience and tractor beams and all kinds of crazy shit. It doesn't need that! Overengineered.

by **ASHLIE** » Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:19 am

MYSTERIOUS INTELLIGENCE

That Smartbomb sacrificed itself to save countless lives.

*crying Robot Eagle*

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:50 am

Oh boy, Tuvix is back!

VOY 6x06: Riddles or RÄTSEL

You know, if Voyager would give more than 30 seconds to dealing with the implications of things, that'd be nice.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:51 am

Actually, it's about ethics in neurological surgery.

Oh no wait, this is Voyager. It's just about desserts and stupid puns.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 1:41 am

Too Many Keses!

VOY 6x23: Fury, or VOLLER WUT

Man, I hope she repaired those poorly CGI-damaged hallways.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 1:46 am

FULL OF FURY

Look, if you're going to abduct your past self through time-travel shenanigans then at least make sure the timeline ends up making sense once you're done.

Also, there was barely any fury in this and the reason for said fury was barely even hinted at, much less explained.

Red Shirt Count: 442
Actual Death Count: 42 (+1 B'elanna, -1 B'elanna)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: All of them
Cameo Count: 42
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -10
Torpedoes: -57 (Pew Pew Pew)
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 2:30 am

Wow, B'Elanna has mood swings. I never would have noticed.

VOY 7x12: Lineage, or ABSTAMMUNG

This was actually pretty good, all snark aside.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 2:33 am

A moody and irritable teenager? Must be them Klingon Genes! Mr. Torres, you're an idiot.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 3:17 am

Prime whatnow?

VOY 7x21: Friendship One, or FRIENDSHIP ONE

I love that they couldn't just use Voyager (the space probe) because of Voyager (the space ship)

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 3:20 am

Voyager, solving problems by shooting torpedoes at things. Also, magical Borg nanoprobes.

Red Shirt Count: 442
Actual Death Count: 43 (Leiutenant Joe, nooo! He was one nacelle from ~~retirement~~ finishing his ship in a bottle!)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: All of them
Cameo Count: 42
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -10
Torpedoes: -61 (At least 4 magical atmosphere restoring torpedoes.)
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:05 am

And now, the worst three episodes of Deep Space Nine, starting with Space: Brigadoon

DS9 3x08: Meridian, or MERIDIAN

Wow, Jadzia, you sure fell into and out of the love of your life in a hurry there.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:09 am

zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz...

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 2:19 am

Worf, for years, thought he killed a guy on a contested header in the finals of a soccer match. What he didn't realize was that he fell victim to the greatest soccer flop of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07mBfR8erMY

DS9 5x07: Let He Who Is Without Sin..., or DIE REISE NACH RISA

Wow, Worf. Way to ruin everything for everyone ever.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 2:25 am

There was nothing in this episode that wasn't incredibly dumb. From the Bajoran separation ritual over Dax jerking a clay-phallus with the ex who screwed her previous host to death to Worf soccering so hard he soccered a guy to death...

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Nov 13, 2014 2:14 am

Actually, its about ethics in Slug-O-Cola production.

DS9 6x23: Profit and Lace, or DIE BERATERIN

This episode is actively offensive. And with that, we finish Deep Space 9.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Nov 13, 2014 2:25 am

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