Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

[Will Stanton]

In retrospect, perhaps you shouldn't have made an episode about a rape-allegory victim falsely accusing people, Voyager!

VOY 4x17: Retrospect, or IM RÜCKBLICK


And if you're going to go with the false memory thing, you'd better have something to, you know, explain the false memories. Maybe something bad happened to Seven, and she replaced the evil person in her memory with the jerk she just worked with! That's a thing you could do. That's better than, you know, no thing.

[Nailah Weaver]

Hoooooly shit. Bryan Fuller just lost a shitload of respect for having written this piece of garbage. This is right up there with Profit and Lace on the Fucking Awful pedestal and it might even be worse. At least the most of the people involved were ashamed of Profit and Lace. Yikes. "Captain's Log: Maybe now we'll all think twice before ruining somebody's life."

[Will Stanton]

And, as a pallet cleanser--BODY SWAP HIJINKS

Ah, Body Swap Hijinks. Is there anything you can't solve?

VOY 4x20: Vis à Vis, or VIS A VIS


Also, Voyager, we're taking the word "violated" away from you.

[Nailah Weaver]

Ah, someone needs help fixing an experimental warp drive. Let's NOT send our chief engineer to help, instead the pilot who tinkers with ancient Cam-er-oh technology will do just fine. ~*Voyager*~

[Will Stanton]

Wait, which character is 6 years old and which is the adult?

VOY 5x05: Once Upon a Time, or ES WAR EINMAL


Neelix is the WORST PARENT EVER.

[Nailah Weaver]

Naomi, literally smarter and more emotionally mature than Neelix. No wonder she starts hanging out with the Borg Lady later.

[Will Stanton]

The one and only Star Trek episode to feature no science fiction. Just what I was looking for!

VOY 5x23: 11:59, or 23 UHR 59


I hope you care about these characters we've never heard of, will never hear of again and have no chemistry!

[Nailah Weaver]

...zzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzz...

Literally more boring than an episode of Enterprise, which is kind of impressive in and of itself.

[Will Stanton]

Tom Paris needs to have every starship in the god damned galaxy.

VOY 6x05: Alice, or ALICE


Stephen King, eat your heart out.

[ASHLIE]

This episode displayed advanced AIs in a very bad light. It reinforces harmful stereotypes. ((╬ಠิ﹏ಠิ))

[Will Stanton]

FI-nally. The Rock. HAS COME BACK. To Staaaaar Trek.

VOY 6x15: Tsunkatse, or TSUNKATSE


Hey, Enterprise. When you book a wrestler for your show, have him in a wrestling thing!

[Nailah Weaver]

Thunderdome! No wait, Tsunkatse! Ultimate laser-tag punch-kick fighting!
Also, if you make a point out of mentioning how a ship outclasses Voyager then don't have the Delta Flyer rip that ship a new one later just because Janeway's flying it.


Red Shirt Count: 442
Actual Death Count: 43
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: Risa
Cameo Count: 43
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -12 (This is beyond silly.)
Torpedoes: -62
People: 124
Janeway'd: 7

[Will Stanton]

Fun will now commence.

VOY 6x18: Ashes to Ashes, or ASCHE ZU ASCHE


Resume your disorder.

[Nailah Weaver]

Retconning in significant characters is lame and lazy. Writers, execute Punishment Protocol 9.


Red Shirt Count: 443 (I don't care what Harry says, she was just a redshirt)
Actual Death Count: 43
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: Risa
Cameo Count: 43
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -12
Torpedoes: -62
People: 123 (1 Retroactive death)
Janeway'd: 7

[Will Stanton]

Are you ready for some DEATH PENALTY! \m/

VOY 7x19: Repentance or REUE


THIS week, we decide NOT to interfere with other cultures.

[Nailah Weaver]

This week on Voyager...

Message!

[Will Stanton]

Chakotay! Seven! FEEL THE CHEMISTRY

VOY 7x18: Human Error, or MENSCHLICHE FEHLER


Also, Janeway sees nothing wrong with flying into random energy blasts.

[Nailah Weaver]

Oh Chipotle, you're more wooden than the former Borg. Seriously though, why the fuck did they back away from the Doctor/Seven thing only to do this. So stupid.


Red Shirt Count: 443
Actual Death Count: 43
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: Risa
Cameo Count: 43
Shut Up Wesley Count: 26

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -12
Torpedoes: -65 (Pew Pew Pew)
People: 123
Janeway'd: 7