Issue 1 Downtime

So, as mentioned, Barrin's never really watched much Star Trek. So--I'm Star Trekkin' her up! This thread is for if people want to follow along, and for candid one liners from Barrin about what the fuck is going on in the trekking amongst the Stars.

First up, The Original Series! Episode #14--Balance of Terror, or as it's known in German, SPOCK UNTER VERDACHT!

...you've gotta yell these things.

SPOCK UNDER SUSPICION or Star Trek - The Submarine Episode

It was kinda boring cause it was sloooow and there was, like, zero threat coming from the Romulans while Kirk kept zapping the invisible ship. Also, inexplicable someone died from, like the phasers overloading, I think?

Red Shirt Count per Episode: 1/1 100%

TOS Episode 22: Space Seed, or DER SCHLAFENDE TIGER!



KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

THE SLEEPING TIGER

Let's show this mysterious stranger ALL the specs of our ship, I'm sure nothing can go wrong with that if it wasn't for those swooning historians!


Red Shirt Count: 2/2 100% (on account of off-screen death before The Wrath of Khan)

TOS #29--The City on the Edge of Forever or GRIFF IN DIE GESCHICHTE



ALL IS AS IT WAS....OR IS IT?!

REACH INTO HISTORY or How Kirk and Spock inexplicably manage to not fuck up the past.

The story seemed cliched but, well, it's old and I watch a bunch of Doctor Who. That's actually something I'm noticing about this in general because a lot of the dramaticc reveals are plot elements that are common sci-fi tropes 40 years later. So in a way watching this is like... a reach into history! *dramatic musical sting*


Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 1

Season 2 now! Episode #30: (or 2.05--TOS is haaaahd) Amok Time, or WELTRAUMFIEBER



DA DA DA-DA-DA-DA DA DA DA-DA-DA-DA DA DA DA!

SPACE FEVER or Vulcan society is retarded

I've heard about this one. I think it's impossible not to. It was okay with a great payoff (and over-explanation) at the end but oh my god, stop with the fucking chimes.


Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 1
Ripped Shirt Count: 1

We're marathoning! Season 2! Episode 35 (or 2.06)--The Doomsday Machine or PLANETEN-KILLER!


Crazy Admiral count--1

PLANET KILLER or We have a message about nukes.

Pretty good overall. Suffering a bit from old special effects but the Doomsday Ship actually looked pretty good. I dunno why the Enterprise keeps flying straight at things though. Especially things that can only shoot their death-beam straight forward.

Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt Count: 1

One last one tonight--#39, or 2.15--Journey to Babel or, uh, REISE NACH BABEL



So illogical!

Oh god, he's infected her!

Hehe

This title is a direct translation, so there. The episode was interesting though the negotiations and assassinations seemed kinda pointless except for facilitating Spock's plot with his parents. Silly humans and they're emotions (also poor Spock's Mom, good lord)


Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 3

Catching up! TOS 2x13: The Trouble With Tribbles or KENNEN SIE TRIBBLES?



...shut that door.

DO YOU KNOW TRIBBLES?

That was... different alright. Also, those are some weirdly human looking Klingons though I'm being told there's some weird explanation for that. Overall it was alright.

No changes to the counters.

And then, we leave the original series behind, and move on to the Next G...

Wait, what? Oh, OK.

We move on to the ANIMATED SERIES! Woo! Woo? Woo.

First up--Season 1, episode 2, Yesteryear or DAS ZEITPORTAL


Guardian of Forever do you, uh, need a throat lozenge?

Also: Season 1, episode 5, More Tribbles, More Troubles, or MEHR TROUBLE MIT TRIBBLES!

Kirk! Friend Kirk

THE TIME PORTAL and MORE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES

That sure was something. Not exactly high production value on your animation there, guys. xD
I guess overall not too bad though they both kinda rehashed earlier, better episodes so meh.

Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 3.5

Moving on to TNG! The best series <_<

Why not start right at the very beginning, with Encounter at Farpoint or DER MÄCHTIGE!



Riker later went to rehab for his apple fetish.

THE MIGHTY or This Is A Pilot.


Pretty good I'd say, especially from this point of view and coming from TOS. Much fancier sets and effects. The story is neat and does a good job kinda showing that Picard isn't one to go in guns blazing though it felt a little forced with Q breathing down their necks. Aside from that, yea, it's a pilot episode that goes out of it's way to show all the sets and what the ship can do and the characters and stuff.


Red Shirt Count: 2
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 3.5
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 2

Next up, episode 2x09: The Measure of a Man, or WEM GEHÖRT DATA?



8 QUADRILLION BITS!

WHO OWNS DATA? (this title sucks)

Now this was a great episode. It might not be the first one in which it starts to show, but it seems like they by now had a better grip on where they were going with things.

TNG Episode 2x16: Q Who or ZEITSPRUNG MIT Q

Riker always hurls when Q-ported.

TIME-JUMP WITH Q

Pretty cool episode. It makes Q seem like a bit less of a jackass and possibly even shows he's meaning well (while still being obnoxious about it). It's also nice to see the initial ideas and stuff for the Borg.


Red Shirt Count: 20 (+18, the Borg don't fuck around)
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 3.5
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 3 (+1 I expect this to go up rapidly now that Wesley is on the bridge)

Moving right along! TNG 3x13: Deja Q or NOCH EINMAL Q


I want TEN chocolate sundaes. I'm in a REAL bad mood.

Q ONCE AGAIN

That was fun! A bit shizophrenic episode with that threat of the asteroid looming over HumanQ shenanigans but still. Mariachi Band and Riker-Beard jokes for the win.

Red Shirt Count: 20
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 4.5 (plus one naked butt)
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 3

Moving on to the first Frakes directed episode--TNG 3x16, The Offspring or DATAS NACHKOMME


Damn, Riker, you work fast.

DATA'S CHILD

Kind of an odd episode. Not bad but it felt kinda stilted with two robots. Troi also is the worst counselor/empath ever and then the robot dies of emotion.


Red Shirt Count: 20
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 5.5 (I'll admit, I kinda expected this one to stagnate without Kirk)
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 4 (plus a door slammed in his face)

Now for the most famous cliffhanger in the history of Star Trek--3x26 The Best of Both Worlds, or IN DEN HÄNDEN DER BORG!


Mr. Worf---Fire.

((Fun fact--Stewart's contract really was up, so it was possible that he COULD die right here!))

IN THE HANDS OF THE BORG

This one I had actually heard about before as THE cliffhanger thingie and all I can say is that yeah, it really is.


Red Shirt Count: 39 (Nope, still not fucking around those Borg)
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 5.5
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 5

And the fourth season! TNG 04x01, The Best of Both Worlds, Part II or ANGRIFFSZIEL ERDE!

Data, hack those Gibsons!

TARGET EARTH

Great follow-up to the cliffhanger and it makes me wonder if there'll be repercussions for Picard later on (Outside one off-hand remark at the beginning of First Contact )

Red Shirt Count: 39 (Plus, like, most of the fleet but you know, whatever xD Only counting Enterprise crew-members here)
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 6.5 (Seriously, put on some clothes Picard)
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 5

And, to finish the Best of Both Worlds, TNG 4x02--Family or FAMILIENBEGEGNUNG

Ah, the most French part of France

FAMILY ENCOUNTERS

A very sweet episode and fit quite well after the previous one. Even Wesley had a great moment. Only Troi was as useless and terrible at anything even resembling counseling as ever. All those people with British accents in France were hilarious though. Oh and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of nerds hated it.

And going forward! TNG 5x02: Darmok, or DARMOK!

...yeah.



Shaka, when the walls fell.

That one was weird. Especially since for a while it was confusing why they randomly used English words. Ultimately it worked as an episode but yeah, confusing.

Red Shirt Count: 39
Actual Death Count: 2
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 7.5
Cameo Count: 1
Shut Up Wesley Count: 5

I've got a feeling I've seen this episode before...

TNG episode 5x18: Cause and Effect or DEJA VU




I've got a feeling I've seen this episode before...

TNG episode 5x18: Cause and Effect or DEJA VU



I've got a feeling I've seen this episode before...

TNG episode 5x18: Cause and Effect or DEJA VU



I've got a feeling I've seen this episode before...

TNG episode 5x18: Cause and Effect or DEJA VU



I've got a feeling I've seen this episode before...

I thought it was a cool episode though in parts the repetition got a little too much sometimes. Overall it was still good though.

We gotta see all the borg episodes, so 5x23--I Borg or ICH BIN HUGH



Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!

I AM SEVEN OF NINE HUGH

Solid episode though really, wiping out the Borg would have been the ultimately better option at the cost of one person. But I can see Picard's point about being better than the enemy and introducing an idea to the collective instead of a virus. If it really ends up having ramifications remains to be seen, but I hope so.

TNG 5x25 is one of the all-time classics--The Inner Light or DAS ZWEITE LEBEN


That flute sold for $40,000