A Funny Thing Happened to Me Today

[Will Stanton]

Will had been contacted by...someone...about the contents of the papers he stole from Henry Hereford in the Hellfire Club. As he didn't have any access to the club anymore, he figured this was the best way to find out what was going on.

He had been told to come alone, and he definitely did so. That didn't stop him from keeping radio contact with ASHLIE, however--he was a fool, not an idiot.

The meeting place? A public cafe in London. Will sat down, and ordered an orange juice.

[Narrator]

A woman with brown, shoulder-length hair and a squarish jaw-line sits down across from him. She almost looks like she could be a relative of Sara's. Or possibly someone's attempt at creating a likeness from a picture. "Good afternoon, Mister Stanton." she says as she picks up the menu and idly flips through it.

[Will Stanton]

"...I must say, Henry, you're looking positively radiant today," Will deadpanned.

[Narrator]

"Other shapeshifters are so hard to fool." the woman sighs. "Okay, fine, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I would want my documents back."

[Will Stanton]

"That's good, because you have me here, instead."

[Narrator]

"I suppose it would be too much to hope for that you would be stupid enough to bring them with you?" she asks almost hopefully.

[Will Stanton]

"Yeah, I'm afraid so. Sorry bout that, big guy."

[Narrator]

"That's too bad, the Henry persona was annoying but endearing. Like that weird uncle at Christmas. I really would have liked to keep him around."

[Will Stanton]

"Take it from me--you should try being yourself. People like that."

[Narrator]

"You know, everybody always says that. Funny thing is, I'm not sure I remember who that is anymore or if that person ever really existed. Your face isn't real either, it's just one that you favor over others."

[Will Stanton]

Will grinned a tight-lipped grin. "It's real enough for my purposes. We all start somewhere."

[Narrator]

"I'm just saying that it's not really that simple and out of all the people here you're one of the few who probably gets that."

[Will Stanton]

"It's only not that simple when we make it complicated. Goodness knows we're the kings of doing that, but everything's simple, if we want it to be."

[Narrator]

"Oh so you have it all figured out then?"

[Will Stanton]

"I'm stumbling my way through. You can do it, too, you know. I come from a place where they help people like us."

[Drew Burke]

"Oh I know. See the problem with that is that I don't really feel like going back to having to think of myself as a victim." the woman says and her face begins to sag and quiver, changing shape in a purposefully disturbing way as it loses cohesion. She pushes her hands into the sagging skin and pushes and tugs it around until it sticks in a different configuration, hair withdrawing until it is short and red. "And I really don't see what the benefit of that is." Drew sneers at Will.

[Will Stanton]

Will took in a short, sharp breath, this not being what he expected.

"Drew..."

[Drew Burke]

"Look at that. He remembered." Drew said, looking over Will's shoulder.

[Will Stanton]

Will whirled.

[Melpomene]

"Of course he did. He's very eager to please." a familiar looking woman says as she walks over with a sway in her hips and a cigarette holder between her fingers.

[Will Stanton]

"You," Will said, tapping his earpiece in an attempt to signal ASHLIE.

[Melpomene]

She held up two fingers and slightly waved them at Will. "Now now, let's hold off on that. I'd rather not have to deal with the volary today."

[Will Stanton]

Will's fingers stopped just short of his earpiece.

"You know, you probably just tipped off every psychic in a 40-mile radius."

[Melpomene]

"That'd be giving other telepaths way too much credit. In a city like London it doesn't really matter if one of the straws turns into a needle and Sammie can't stay strapped into her magnet all day." she says, sitting down at their table and holding out her hand without looking. One of the waiters stops briefly to hand her a cup of coffee. The man doesn't really look brainwashed, he just suddenly came to the conclusion that the order he was carrying was supposed to go here.

[Will Stanton]

"I'm sure she makes an exception for you."

[Melpomene]

"Oh I know, she drops everything when it comes to me. It's flattering, in a way. But that's not what this is about. You took something from us and that's just rude. You also ruined our customer base and logistics chain although that is just part of the game, I suppose. Still, I feel like you owe me."

[Will Stanton]

"We'll call it even from our history," he said, trying to will himself to stand up and leave.

[Melpomene]

"Really? Because I thought having Sam punch a hole through my psyche and tossing me in a mental hole in the ground with an inhibitor collar was what made things even." she says, amusing herself by taking Will's intent to get up and turning into the urge to change to a different chair instead, watching him to see if he'll notice.

[Will Stanton]

Will got up, and immediately walked around....to the other side of the table, sitting in a chair closer to Drew.

He DID notice, and swore under his breath.

[Drew Burke]

Drew smirks at Will and takes a bite from a croissant.

[Will Stanton]

"I have several other suggestions where you can shove that croissant."

[Melpomene]

Mel's smile is much more polite, better at concealing her own amusement. "So rude. Especially when there's no need to worry, I'll let you go back home. I have no interest in starting a fight. Feel free to tell that to Sam too, though I already know she won't buy it." she says, stirring her coffee and taking out the spoon, twirling it around in her fingers.

[Will Stanton]

"Good, then I'll just be going..."

[Melpomene]

"Of course." she says and with a practiced mental twist stops Will's mind from forming any new short- or long-term memories. "This should just take a second." She makes sure that the people around them are too preoccupied with their own little worlds to notice what is going on and places her spoon back in her cup before reaching for Will's chest and pushing her fingers into the clay. Of course there's not really a heart to be found in there, but one has to have a certain appreciation for symbolism, else what is the point. She pulls her hand back, clutching a sizable chunk of clay. "I believe that ought to do." she says, handing the chunk to Drew who stashes it away before handing Mel a handkerchief to wipe down her hand. As she does she reconnects Will's conscious mind back to his memories.

"Please, don't let me stop you." she continues right where Will's memories would be left off.

[Will Stanton]

Will stands up, quickly, and heads for the exit, trying to will his hands to contact ASHLIE and the others.

[Narrator]

For a block or two he'd find that incredibly hard, but after that he seems to be back in full control of his own faculties.

[Will Stanton]

"Shit," Will swore, radioing in. "C'mon, ASHLIE, pick me up..." Will said, as he wandered off, leaving Drew and Mel alone.