Saturday, September 20th - On The News

[Narrator]

Westminster police released a report today regarding a number of missing pets in the area. A statement by assistant commissioner Mark Rowley related that the police believe this to be related to a purebred smuggling ring they've been investigating. He advised owners to keep a close eye on their pets, and always walk with a sturdy leash.

[Narrator]

"Jon Snow here for Channel 4 News. A strange day in Westminster as a local resident looking to solve a vermin problem has caught something unexpected."

"Paraic O'Brien joins us on the scene."

The broadcast switches to in front of an upscale house in Westminster. The reporter stands next to a middle-aged man.

"Thank you, Jon. I'm here with Edgar Norfarthing, who recently set and baited humane traps in hopes of catching a raccoon that's been troubling his rubbish bins. As you may recall, raccoons are an invasive species introduced to the UK by a number of people abandoning raccoons kept as pets."

"However, what he managed to catch was rather unexpected. Won't you show us, Edgar?"

The man walks over to beside the steps and pulls out a cage containing what looks to be a cockroach... the size of a small dog.

"Damnedest thing, isn't it?" The man says.

"So you see, Jon, we have quite the exotic animal here."

O'Brien's eyes stray away from the camera as a black SUV pulls up to the curb. A number of men in black suits exit the vehicle, one heading for the cameraman.

"MI-13, we need to clear the area."

The broadcast abruptly switches back to the presenter.

"Well then, it seems Her Majesty's Finest have this under control. And now, the weather!"

[Narrator]

A Westminster woman was shocked to find her flat's drains overflowing with leeches today. Thames Water assures residents that the infestation appears to be limited, likely precipitated by an amateur fisherman's catch. Cleaning out the infestation should take no more than a day.