If I have a kid, I'm naming him Ebineezer

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:11 am

Christmas had been…

Well, no need to mince words. Christmas had been horrible. Not that Becca had really expected anything else. The days leading up to the break had been all right, she supposed. She’d hoarded all the money she made from campus jobs to be able to manage to get something for Sam and Nailah. Not that it had been all that much, but it’d been the best she could do. And it had given her something to do to not be around as much so she didn’t have to keep evading questions about what she’d be doing for the holiday. It’d been bad enough when it was just Sam who would be asking, now there was Nailah asking, too, and one could only evade a question so many times.

It’d gone comfortably similar to the last few holidays, if ‘comfortably’ could be defined as ‘predictable and routine.’ She’d made a show of looking like she was packing, which really was just an excuse to clean her room at the end of the term. She’d made sure to find out early as she could when Sam and Nailah were leaving to go home, so that she wouldn’t accidentally say that she was leaving earlier than them.

The first couple days had been all right. She slept a lot, ordered some chinese with the dwindling money she’d scraped after presents. She played lots of horror movies and action movies to completely get her mind off of those goddamned happy Christmas specials that were on every goddamned channel. Meal times with the few people in the cafeteria were uncomfortable, since the people who were left here with her she didn’t know well enough to be comfortable around (and some of them outright scared her), so she could only occasionally be anything resembling visible when other people were around. So usually, she’d take the plastic container she’d saved from the chinese food and washed out to bring her meals back to the dorm.

The next few days, she played a lot of Gamecube. You can only sit there watching movies for so long, and working out only ended up emphasizing more to her just how lonely she was, with nothing but repetitive motion to try to keep her mind off of it. She practically mainlined Mountain Dew to beat a few of the games Sam had gotten that she hadn’t had a chance to finish yet, completely throwing her sleep schedule off.

The few days after that, when early-arrivers started to come back to school, were when it devolved into absolutely pathetic. She’d taken to sleeping on the couch, and every time she heard footsteps in the hall, she’d wake up, and feel that irrational leap of hope she always got, even though she knew when Sam’s flight back to the States was, only to get that lonely, hollow feeling again when she heard the telltale sound of a trashcan being emptied in the hall and realized it was just the janitor. She took to playing Smash Bros. for a while, putting the other controllers out for the hell of it and setting the computer to play the characters that Nailah and Sam would always use, which even she realized was really freaking pitiful, and generally left her feeling even more lonely after she got done playing.

The next few days were the ‘angry days’, when she coped by making herself get mad at all those stupid students that left during the holidays, convincing herself that they were all a bunch of assholes, and who needed them anyway? Granted, this was contradicted by the way she still jumped whenever she thought she heard someone in the hall outside their room…

The last few days of the break, as always, were when she reverted back to movies, because she just couldn’t work up the effort to care enough to do anything else. No one was coming back early. Sam’s plane wouldn’t come in until Friday, and she couldn’t see Nailah coming back sooner than that. So Thursday she’d get to work cleaning the place up, getting her bags packed so that she could act like she’d just gotten back, try to figure out what to say that she’d gotten for Christmas, and all the other nonsense.

At the very least, she mused, laying on the couch watching the movie without really taking it in, Christmas only gave a week and a half to be like this, instead of going through the last few parts of it over and over like summer break, did.

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:16 am

But soon enough, keys turned in the door...

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:21 am

At first, Becca didn't really register it. She would yell at the Janitor that she'd take her own goddamn trash out... but... wait, what time was it? Shit, it was light out, it was too late for him to be going around, what day was it? Shit, shit, shit...

Throwing the pillow she'd been curled up around through the door to her room, she started frantically grabbing the various accumulated debris that had gathered over the past week and a half in an ultimately futile attempt to clean the place up in the... two seconds it would take someone to come into the room. Thank god I took a shower this morning...

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:23 am

Samantha stepped through the door, her arms laden with bags, including one that definitely contained something that was wrapped. She smiled as she spotted her roommate.

"Becca!"

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:26 am

Nailah was behind her, dragging her small suitcase. "Becca? What do you mean--Becca!" she interrupts herself as she looks past Sam.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:31 am

"Hi!" Becca panted, stuffing more empty soda cans into the trash bag she'd grabbed. "Sorry, I got back a little early," she obviously lied, since there was no way a human could go through all the cans and snacks that were evidenced within just a couple days. "I was going to clean up... um... it's... Friday, isn't it," she said, ending in a mumble, not looking up since she knew she'd go into complete deer-in-headlights mode if she did.

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:33 am

"Uhm yeah, I... I brought you presents!" Samantha said, though her eyes were obviously straying to the signs of occupation.

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:34 am

Nailah quirks a brow. "How early did you come back?"

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:36 am

"I... um... Wednesday..." Last Wednesday. After I thought going into town would be fun. Which sucked on my own...

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:37 am

Samantha gave a look to the sphinx, who generally did know when any of them was lying.

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:42 am

Not that it took any special powers to tell, but Nailah frowns a little. Why would Becca lie to her best friends?

"You sure make a mess in two days..." she carefully points out, not wanting to put her on the spot entirely.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:43 am

"I... yeah, I did. Sorry. I..." What, threw a party? Like anyone would believe that... "...was... really hungry?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:45 am

"Becca, you can tell us anything. You know that, right?"

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:48 am

Becca swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to focus on clearing out the stack of Mountain Dew cans from the days she'd pretended to be an insomniac. "Of course," she managed. "So! How was Christmas!" She'd take a few moments, she decided, before she looked up, so that she could force a smile on that fit the question.

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:51 am

"Becca?" she just says, looking at her with a mixture of worry, confusion a tiny bit of anger about her lieing to them.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:53 am

Becca looked up without thinking, and winced at the expression. "I..." She blinked, looking away and starting to throw more cans away. "Please don't look at me like that," she whimpered.

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:54 am

"Oh, Becca..." She put down the bags she was carrying and rushed over to her friend.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:56 am

Becca just slumped where she was crouching, letting go of the bag. The cans were all picked up now anyway. "I tried to go home this time..."

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:00 am

"You should have told us... you could have called, aye?"

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:00 am

"It was Christmas," she said quietly. "You should be having fun at Christmas, not worrying about me..."

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:01 am

"But... but I don't understand. Why didn't you go home?" she asks, hurrying over.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:05 am

She shrugged. "I... haven't talked to my family since I came here," she answered quietly. "I figured they might come to get me the first holiday, but..." She swallowed. "And I tried calling this time, but... they... changed the number. And didn't list it."

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:06 am

"Oh God, Becca. That's... that's horrible..."

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:08 am

Becca shrugged. "When they want to see me, they'll come get me, I guess."

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:09 am

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Becca!" she says, throwing her arms around her.

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:10 am

If there was any doubt of it, Samantha certainly wasn't going to let Becca off without an absolute death-grip of a hug now.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:21 am

Becca hadn't ever let herself think about it this much, for a long time. So... naturally now that it was all forced out, and with her friends hugging her, she burst out sobbing. Rather incoherently, too, but that was to be expected, and for a bit it felt a lot like those first days when she'd stuck to her room almost refusing to come out. "...Daddy used to love me... he really did..."

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:28 am

All Nailah could think of right now was how she had complained about her parents on her first day here and every once in a while since then and the sudden guilt feels like a band of steel tightening around her guts. "I'm so sorry Becca... Oh god... I-I... we didn't know..."

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:31 am

"They... they're making a mistake, Becca."

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:50 am

"I didn't want you to know," she said, blinking eyes that were, oddly, obviously bloodshot but still white, at Nailah. "Didn't want anyone to know..."

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:16 am

"They're making a mistake! Why... why would anyone want to leave you behind?"

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:06 pm

"Damn right they're making a mistake!" Nailah frowns, giving Becca a squeeze. "And you should have told us! You could've come with or we could've come back early and had our own Christmas here or, or..." Needless to say, Nailah is getting a little angry. Partially at Becca's parents but mostly just at the world at large for making a girl like Becca be that lonely and miserable.

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:05 pm

"Who can blame them," Becca cut in, bitter tears still flowing. "Who wants an invisible daughter? I might as well have not even been there. You don't just stop loving someone for a stupid reason, so it must make sense."

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:11 pm

"Sweetie no, this isn't your fault! You can't help who you are..."

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:16 pm

"Becca, you're one of the most amazing people I know here. Everyone should want to know you. What they're doing is wrong."

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:29 pm

"Well they don't want to know me," Becca shot back, trying unsuccessfully to compose herself and breaking into fresh sobs. "And they wouldn't do that without a reason, right? Because there has to be a reason when you stop loving someone, right?"

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:30 pm

"If there's anything, anything at all wrong with you, I just can't see it."

by **Nailah** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:32 pm

"Sometimes people do things that don't make sense..."

by **Rebecca Valentine** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:34 pm

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it," Becca sniffed, wrapping her arms around her legs in the all too familiar 'nothing can hurt me if I ignore it' gesture. "So I just deal with it. It isn't that bad." For a couple days.

by **Samantha McManus** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:35 pm

"Becca, you know my mum adores you. She would have bought you a ticket if you'd just asked."

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