I10DT - Sometimes You Relive Your Nightmares

[Natalya Romanov]

Natalya let herself into the Danger Room, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She was dressed in an X-Man's uniform.

"Computer, Load Romanov Arctic Mission SHIELD 7."

Per user designation, authorization code is required to load this mission.

This made her pause. Which, she reflected, was what it was supposed to do. "Voice authorization Natalya Romanov, Director of Security."

Acknowledged. Loading.

The program loaded, putting her in the back of a plane with two full SHIELD squads. It put an overlay on her uniform that gave it SHIELD colors and insignia. Unlike the SHIELD squads though, she was not wearing any additional cold weather protection. Without hesitation, she took a leap from the back of the plane, rocketing downward through the winds and the snow with the squads close behind her. She finally opened her parachute, wincing at the sudden jerk of deceleration. She drifted to the ground and looked around for her teams. The wind was blowing snow like crazy, visibility was non-existent. She reached for her radio and then remembered. They were on radio silence, this was AIM they were dealing with and they'd be scanning the frequencies. She got her bearings and started making for the entrance point. That was when the gunfire started to either side of her, but not directed at her. It was abruptly silenced and she was left alone again in the vast whirling whiteness. She ran towards what she felt was where the nearest gunfire had been, dragging ice along with her. In her haste, she literally stumbled over one of the bodies of her team. He'd been killed by some kind of animal, she guessed, and the memory made her pull back. It didn't take her long to find the others.

How she felt the first one coming, she wasn't sure, but she threw up the ice in a wall as some large and exceptionally fast collided with it, howling in pain as the ice wall suddenly sprouted spikes. Other howls answered it and she swore. The monster was huge and shaggy with massive claws and powerful arms and legs. She pulled the ice out of it and flexed the wall to knock it aside, pushing the ice up under her to give her some height to work from. Something came sailing out of the darkness and knocked her off her perch. She had enough presence of mind to use the ice to catch herself before she had a very bad impact. Her assailant was gone almost as soon as he arrived. She could hear growling just out of sight... or was it just the wind? She swore at herself again and a hole opened in the ice and she sank into it, closing it over her head. When the creature came back to look for her, he found Natalya waiting and encased in a huge ice exo-suit. It leaped for her exposed head, but she grabbed it with one of the construct's massive arms, taking a brief moment to look it in the eye before she crushed it. She spent the next eternity, or it seemed like it, hunting down and exterminating the creatures one-by-one before advancing on the base... only to find, there was no base there. She sighed as the program ended, the scenario having run it's course. It was never any different and she wasn't entirely why she put herself through this or any of the others. Maybe because I'm the only one who knows exactly what happened.

The program converted into a standard Arctic landscape and her uniform went back to normal as she sat down. She sighed and watched the sun rise, cold comfort in this part of the world, but at least enough to make her smile for a change.

((Open))

[Kevin Sydney]

"Now call me stupid, but I'd say something's on your mind," a voice came from the observation deck.

[Natalya Romanov]

"I certainly don't do these things for my health," she said, not bothering to look in that direction.

[Kevin Sydney]

"Well, I'm not judging. You wouldn't be the first person in the X-Men who's got some funny notions."

[Natalya Romanov]

"We all have our ghosts," she said, "Sometimes we need to visit them."

[Kevin Sydney]

"I get that, I do. I know a lot of folks probably think I wouldn't."

[Natalya Romanov]

"You can come down here you know. I'm capable of turning the temperature up."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Might be good. I can do a lot of substances, but pliability and cold temperatures don't really mix."

[Natalya Romanov]

She made some adjustments and the program moved them to a beach. "Better?"

[Kevin Sydney]

He laughed, stepping out into the room proper.

"Didn't have to go all the way to tropical, but it's appreciated."

[Natalya Romanov]

"The Arctic has it's appeal, but it's less appealing for those who can't walk barefoot through it. So were you looking for me or just a happy accident?"

[Kevin Sydney]

"Mostly checking to make sure it wasn't some kids in over their heads, you know?"

[Natalya Romanov]

"Kids can't access that program. Actually, I'm not even sure the Headmistress could access that one I have it buried so deep."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Guessing you're not talking about the generic arctic program I found you in."

[Natalya Romanov]

"No," she said. "Simulation of one of my old SHIELD missions."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Hush hush, or just personal?"

[Natalya Romanov]

"Just personal. Lost a lot of good agents on bogus intel. Stuff I accepted at face value that I never should have," she said, reaching down into the lapping water.

[Kevin Sydney]

"That's rough. Hard not to second-guess that sort of thing. Hindsight."

[Natalya Romanov]

"Yeah. AIM played us. We thought there was a base there, but they'd just left behind this giant predatory creatures and there was no base. I guess doing this is the way of getting it out of my head. Like listening to a song that you have a piece of stuck in your head so that it can play on through and get out of your head for a while. If that makes any sense."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Anything bringing this to mind, lately?"

[Natalya Romanov]

"I guess that X-Man we lost. I didn't even really know him, but it stirred up old memories."

[Kevin Sydney]

"It's not easy. No matter how well trained they are, it never is."

[Natalya Romanov]

"And I don't want it to be," she said, slipping a hand onto his shoulder. "The moment it becomes easy is the moment I don't deserve to be here anymore."

[Kevin Sydney]

"This is where I'm not supposed to tell 'em you've got a heart of gold, huh?"

[Natalya Romanov]

"Tell them whatever you want," she said, smiling. "It's not like they're ever believe it about me."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Oh that Romanov, she's an old softie. Why yes, she did just freeze me in a block of ice, why do you ask?"

[Natalya Romanov]

"Somebody's got to be a hard ass around here," she said, laughing. "It can't all be flowers and fluffy critters."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Y'know, I got a lot of that when I was younger. That we've just got to impress upon these kids how serious these situations are."

"I don't know if I buy it, though. Most of the kids I've met are imagining something that's, like, ten times worse when the excrement hits the air conditioning."

"There's one or two that don't, I guess. And sometimes, one of those grows up to be me." He grinned.

[Natalya Romanov]

"Some of them, yes. But some of them have superhero-sized stars in their eyes. I'm not saying we take a dump on their aspirations, but that doesn't mean we tell them everything is going to be great all the time. Although this conversation is one of the many reasons why I should probably never be a parent."

[Kevin Sydney]

"Well think of it this way. One, that kind of stuff can be a pretty potent release mechanism in the face of wanting to soil your drawers in the face of some of this stuff. Two, for some of them it's probably the first time their power's been a good thing."

[Natalya Romanov]

"Point taken," she said. She fanned herself for a moment. "Pardon me," she said, shedding her training uniform, leaving her in bicycle shorts and a tank top. "Better."

[Kevin Sydney]

"See, this is where most folks would expect me to turn into a giant steam whistle with eyes or something."

[Natalya Romanov]

"See, that would be crass. Now if you did it after I do this..." She said as she made to kiss him.